Is it normal to not want sex?

The short answer – it is 100% normal to not want sex. There are infinite reasons why a person may not be interested in sexual activity. For example, a lack of or misinformation about healthy sexuality, negative beliefs, or experiences about sex, difficulty with partnered relationships, underlying health conditions, medication side effects and stress or hormonal fluctuations. Schedule an appointment with a sexologist near you, Sexologist in Islamabad or Best Sexologist in Lahore if you’re dealing with sexual repression. 

What is low sexual desire?

According to experts, frequent sexual intercourse has nothing to do with sexual desire. Contrary to popular belief, sexual desire is more than just an issue of low sex drive or libido. It reflects as a spontaneous sexual interest and includes daydreams, erotic and sexual thoughts. Therefore, when women experience a significant decrease in their interest in sex, it influences their life and results in stress. This is a problem of low sexual desire or HSDD (hyperactive sexual desire disorder) – absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts. 

What causes it?

Sexual repression is typically a result of restrictive ideas or attitudes about sex. Parents and caregivers may be directly responsible for instilling these ideas – or these ideas simply absorb because of watching other people as you grow up. Initially you may knowingly suppress these sexual thoughts, although, the repression often becomes automatic with time. 

While sexual repression is often associated with religious upbringings, ideas about sexual behavior can stem from other sources, also. Some factors that may contribute to sexual repression include fear of sexually transmitted infections and sexual trauma in their pasts. A history of sexual trauma and abuse can cause significant emotional pain and distress, making it difficult to enjoy sex. 

Misinformation and conflicting information about sexual desires can prevent healthy sexual expression. You may not have absorbed the negative ideas but hearing misinformation from others, including peers can make it seem weird and uncomfortable. The sexual thoughts and arousal may cause disgust and even confusion if you are unaware of what causes them. You might also reason that if sexual desires are healthy and normal, your parents would have mentioned it. 

How do you know whether you’re experiencing it?

Sexual repression means that you don’t feel the need for sex for days, weeks, months and even years, while rarely or never feeling aroused. Whereas others feel unhappy, distracted, and irritable after just a few days of sexual abstinence. Subsequently, some people are interested when there’s someone around to have sex, but they don’t miss it when there is no partner there as a prompt. 

Sexual interest comes and goes – it can disappear when you are under stress or at times of illness. What’s more, parents of young children are keener on sleeping than on sex. For many, sexual interest wanes as they grow older – however, may rekindle when in a new relationship. Even with marriage, some people might feel that they should supply the sexual needs of their partners, making it a duty rather than wanting it. There are also some people who have libido but are not interested in having sex.

Some people even have personality traits that put them on the spectrum, generally lacking any interest in people. Others may simply not be aware of their internal sexual drive and still have close romantic relationships.

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